Advocating for Yourself As A Writer

Advocating for yourself as a writer isn’t easy, but it’s a necessary skill if you’re planning on building an author career.

There’s a moment almost every writer faces, sometimes quietly, sometimes painfully, when someone reveals what they really think about your writing career. It’s usually subtle and often comes from the people we least expect it from.

It looks like this:

A dismissive laugh.
A raised eyebrow.
A “must be nice to have a hobby.”
A “but what do you actually do?”
A “sure, but when are you going to get a real job?”

And if the comments come from people you love (as it so often does),
it lands even harder. It sticks to your heart and the next thing you know you’re carrying it around every time you pick up the pen.

As a full-time writer and creative businesswoman, I’ve personally experienced this many times in my career. From family, acquaintances, and even a therapist.

It’s disorienting to pour yourself into something so deeply meaningful, only to have someone wave it off as insignificant. But here’s a truth that will protect your creative spirit for the rest of your life:

Other people do not get to define the seriousness of your calling. Only you do.

Advocating for yourself is not about convincing people to take you seriously.
It’s about standing in your truth even if they never do.

Let’s go deeper into what that looks like—and how you can protect your creativity in a world that often misunderstands it.

1. Validate Your Own Career First (Even When You’re Still “Becoming”)

One of the tenderest parts of the writing journey is the gap between who you know you are and who the world thinks you are.

There’s a big gap in how our industry works compared to other jobs. No applications and no interviews lead directly to a job. There’s no credentials that guarantee you a salary and no promotions to celebrate. There’s no security, no one to report to, and often- no proof.

In a world that adheres to structure and financials as “proof” that you’re an useful, valid member of society it leaves writers in this invisible, forgotten space- a limbo where everything “before” simply doesn’t “count”.

I’m here to tell you, from my own experience, that this is a very real thing.

But I’m also here to remind you:

Before the book deal.
>Before the platform.
>Before the validation people seem to need in order to “believe” you.

You’re already a writer.

But here’s the challenge:
If you carry your dream softly, timidly, or with self-doubt, others will mirror that hesitation.

Your belief becomes the template for how people treat your career.

So begin with you:

Speak about your writing without minimizing it
Practice introducing yourself as a writer
Create rituals that reinforce your identity
Let yourself feel proud—not embarrassed—of your ambition

This inner validation lays the foundation for every boundary you’ll set later.

When you can stand confidently behind your dream, others can too.

2. Boundaries Are Not Selfish—They’re Self-Respecting

Here’s a truth many writers learn the hard way:

If you don’t protect your writing time, people will assume it isn’t important.

Not because they don’t care about you.
But because they genuinely don’t understand the depth of focus, emotional energy, and mental stillness your work requires.

When someone assumes you’re available simply because you’re home, or says,
“Can’t you just write later?” or they ask about what you did that day and when you tell them you were writing their response is something like, “Oh, just keeping busy then”.
it’s not a sign you’re failing.

It’s a sign you need a boundary.

And boundaries are not walls.
They are invitations for people to treat you with respect.

You can say:

“This is my writing time. I’ll be free after.”
“I’m on deadline today.”
“I can help, but not right now.”
“My writing hours are non-negotiable.”
“My writing hours are the same as business hours.”

Clear. Direct. Calm.
No apology required.

Consistency teaches others to honor your craft—even if they don’t fully understand it.

3. Release the Need to Over-Explain Yourself

Writers are trained to justify things—plot choices, character motives, narrative arcs.
But we often carry that habit into real life, over-explaining our dreams to people who aren’t capable of receiving them.

This happens particularly in conversations with friends and family, where we feel the need to “explain” ourselves and why we do what we do. When we’re talking to someone we love, the need to make them see our worth and accept us is harder to fight. But even with the people closest to us, it’s still okay to stay steady in our truth rather than try to earn understanding.

Here’s what you don’t need to explain:

Why writing matters to you
How big your dreams are
Why you’re taking this seriously
Why this time is important
Why this is worth pursuing
Why writing is an actual job
Why you aren’t working a “real” job
How much money you do or don’t make
The lifestyle that comes with writing

Some people will never understand creativity as work because it asks them to confront their own unlived dreams. Sometimes it’s because they were taught not to value art. Whatever the reason, it doesn’t matter. It’s just an opinion.

Your job is not to convince them.
Your job is to keep going.

4. Accept That Some People Will Never See Your Vision (And That’s Not a Failure)

This is one of the deepest truths of the writing journey:

People cannot understand a vision they were never meant to carry.

Your story lives inside you.
>Your calling lives inside you.
>Your beliefs, your ambitions, your drive—those were not planted in anyone else.

So when someone responds with:

Skepticism
Dismissal
Confusion
Minimization
Indifference
Rationalizing
Invalidation
Criticism
Stereotyping
Disdain

…it’s not a reflection of your worth.
It’s simply a reflection of their inability to see what you see.

Many writers waste emotional energy trying to earn validation from people who are never going to give it. And when we internalize these barbs, we wind up reliving the wound and hindering our own creativity. We stop ourselves from achieving our dreams because of something someone said to us ten years ago.

Set yourself free from that cycle.
You don’t need permission to take your career or your writing seriously.

If it matters to you, it matters- period.

5. Find People Who See You Clearly

Advocating for yourself becomes easier the moment you’re surrounded by people who don’t require convincing.

As a writer, I’ve learned over time to embrace those who fully support me, as opposed to trying to share my work with people I’m close to in other areas of my life, who don’t.

Start by seeking out:

Writing groups
Critique partners aligned with your genre
Author communities
Friends who ask about your book
Editors who respect your vision
Mentors who believe in you

Your environment is a mirror. When you’re around people who respect your creative life, your confidence multiplies. You stop shrinking and start shining.

And when you’re around people who diminish it?
Your courage becomes something you must constantly fight for, and your creative energy is wasted in cycles of self-doubt.

Choose the former.
Choose the spaces that hold your dreams with tenderness and support.

Guaranteed you’ll feel the difference.

6. Speak Your Dreams Without Shrinking

It takes bravery to say:

“I’m writing a book.”
“I’m building a writing career.”
“I’m an author.”
“I’m publishing my poems.”
“I’m starting a blog.”
“I want to be a full-time writer.”

Especially if the world around you doesn’t know how to hold statements that bold.

But here’s the deeper truth:

Every time you speak your dream aloud, you make it a little more real.
>Every time you speak without shrinking, you become a little more rooted.
>Every time you speak with clarity, you claim the path you’re walking.

People may not understand it.
But you will feel the difference.

And if you don’t yet believe it- look at my journey here @writingitwells– I built Writing It Wells from scratch five years ago. If I can do it, so can you.

7. Your Calling Is Bigger Than Other People’s Opinions

This is the heart of the matter:

Your writing career is not fragile—it is sacred.

Your stories are part of your purpose.
>Your voice is part of your identity.
>Your creativity is part of your soul’s expression.

You were not given this dream by accident.

When others don’t take you seriously, your job is not to argue, debate, or convince.

Your job is to:

Stay rooted
Stay committed
Stay aligned with your vision
Stay in integrity with your craft
Stay steadfast in your belief
Stay steady in your practice

People’s opinions fade.
Their doubts fade.
Their commentary fades.

But your calling doesn’t.

Keep your eyes on the horizon, friend. One day those who couldn’t picture the skyline will see what you’ve built and marvel at it.

8. Advocacy Isn’t Loud—It’s Steady

Advocating for yourself as a writer is not about confrontation or defensiveness.
It’s about choosing your writing life, again and again, even when it’s misunderstood.

It sounds like:

“This matters to me.”
“This is my work.”
“This is my time.”
“I won’t minimize this anymore.”
“I am building something real.”

It looks like discipline.
Commitment.
Self-respect.
Courage.

And over time, something beautiful happens:

The world begins to catch up.
People start to take you seriously—not because they suddenly understand, but because you’ve shown them who you are.

In my personal experience, this is also real. It comes with time. You learn how to explain your career more clearly, you gain experience and eventually wind up with proof (like a book, a blog, social credibility, etc.) that make it so the work you’re doing is, in fact, more than just a dream.

Take heart. Simply put, it might be difficult now, but it gets better.

Final Thought: You Deserve to Be Taken Seriously—Starting With Yourself

Your writing career is a long game.
Some seasons will feel lonely.
There will be people who never understand.
And some moments will feel discouraging.

Above all, here’s the quiet truth I want you to carry with you:

You are building a life anchored in creativity, courage, and purpose.
There is nothing unserious about that.
>Nothing small.
>Nothing naive.
>Nothing to be laughed off.

Advocate for your voice.
Your time is important.
Your dreams matter.

You don’t need external validation to make your writing real.

It already is.

Ready to embrace your writing journey?

Start here:

If you’re just starting out: How To Turn An Idea Into A Story

How to Create A Basic Novel Outline

How To Develop Characters With Complexity & Depth